North Korea, Best Korea!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
