I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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