She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
