new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she looked like the before picture.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
