His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Watching her eat just hurts me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
