He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
