That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
