Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
