Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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