You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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