you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize