Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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