He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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