yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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