That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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