if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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