it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
