I have demons in me.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
we're so committed to being not committed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
