The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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