I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
