I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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