No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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