Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
