nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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