dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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