You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
