if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
