the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
