Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
