Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
