i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
