i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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