He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize