You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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