my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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