Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
