I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
