Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
