I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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