I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
