Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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