is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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