she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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