Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
