I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
