His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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