I think im going to throw up on grandma
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
