What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
