i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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