Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
