U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
