She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize