Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
