I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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