so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
