yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
