her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize