Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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