i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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