oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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